Take two...

2011-11-24T15:02:00.000-08:00

I had my post op appointment at the gynae today, and was accompanied by my father and my boyfriend. I love them both and they both mean a lot to me in different ways. I know they both want the best for me and a little support from family is always welcome. Especially when the current situation does not allow you much room for action. Six months treatment of Zoladex, then I need to start thinking of having a baby.

Never ever in my life I thought I would even consider having a child. Even seeing a pregnant woman walking by used to give me goose bumps. Then again, I had not met the right person for me yet. Before you even start considering having children, you need to be sure of your partner and you need to be happy with your life and your achievements. It is too much to handle at one go, therefore I was always of the opinion that I wanted to sort myself out first, before I bring another human being in this world. I wanted to be happy with myself, after all happiness does start from within. Then I met Malc, and he was like a sprinkle of cinnamon on top of a warm apple pie. It is amazing how one person can make you feel whole, it felt like I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle called life. Life never gets easier, however knowing that you have someone by your side whom you love and respect, and who reciprocates these feelings and more, makes it worth fighting for.

He is definitely the person I want to spend my life with, and notwithstanding the fact that this situation came to us as a surprise, I am thankful I have him in my life.

Here we go...

2011-11-22T22:21:00.000-08:00

Is it custom to introduce oneself when blogging? Not really sure, but in any case I'm starting this blog to help me clear my mind and put my thoughts out there, hoping this would help me achieve a better understanding of my current situation and get some peace of mind.

Just to put you in the picture, I'm in what doctors would describe "woman in child bearing age" and two days ago I have undergone surgery - laperoscopy to be exact. I am now home recovering, I would say more from the shocking news that has been brought to me, rather than from the operation itself. Do not get me wrong, the physical pain is there, my tummy hurts and I have stitches which are healing slowly, can barely move and have pain all over my back, sides, shoulder and chest. It is slowly getting better but the day seems three times as long as it actually is. But this is not what is bothering me most. Compared to the pain I experienced after my operation, the mental anxiety and stress I'm finding myself with at this very moment is just unbearable.

I have been diagnosed with endometriosis, and my doctor has put my on Zoladex treatment. I have been reading all sorts of info relating to this treatment and as much as I'm trying not to let myself be influenced by all the reactions and posts submitted by women who have been administered this treatment, I still feel scared and do not really know what to expect.

A million thoughts race through my mind right now. How do I go about this? It is definitely a life altering experience, but how am I supposed to deal with it? Sulking does not obviously help the situation but I honestly think I need to go through that phase first before I can clear my head and get down to action. I cannot help but feel sad about the situation. I know feeling this way does not give me straight answers as to how I must act in the coming months, but all I feel like doing right now is lick my own wounds.

Where's my sunshine?

Take two...

Here we go...